So after choking down 20 minutes of “2-Headed Shark Attack” (you’ve got to love the 20-minute rule…), I couldn’t help but wonder what on earth the writers were thinking.  With that, I  give you my impression of all the detailed thought and mystery involved in scripting this gem:

Bong-Hitting Writer: “Dude, we need to get this movie written.”

Piss-Drunk Writer:   “Dude, totally.”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “So you want to stick with the shark theme?”

Piss-Drunk Writer:   “Sure, why not?  I mean, it’s easy enough to kill people with a shark, right?  Isn’t that was Jaws was all about?”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “Totally, but we need something to set it apart from all the others.”

Piss-Drunk Writer:  “We need chicks, barely dressed, and lots of them.”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “‘We don’t have a lot of money.”

Piss-Drunk Writer:   “So we hire one major hottie and get a bunch of college kids.”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “”Great idea.  It’s not like they need to be actors.  And I bet we could get Carmen Electra.”

Piss-Drunk Writer:   “You think she’ll do it?”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “Sure, who wouldn’t?  And we could get Dave Navarro to be the shark.”

Piss-Drunk Writer:    “That’s just weird.”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “Yeah, you’re right.  So what about a dude?” 

Piss-Drunk Writer:     “Dave Navarro could play a dude?”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “What?  No!”

Piss-Drunk Writer:    “No, you’re right.  That’s really weird.”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “True.  But hey, let’s get someone crazy like Jerry O’Connell.  I like him, and he was in that fish movie, right?”

Piss-Drunk Writer:  “Yeah, yeah, with all the chicks!”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “Just like our movie!”

Piss-Drunk Writer:   “Yeah, but we’ve got a shark.”

Bong-Hitting Writer:  “Totally.”

Piss-Drunk Writer:   “But wait, we’ve only got a little bit of money.”

Bong-Hitting Writer:   “Yeah?”

Piss-Drunk Writer:    “So won’t Carmen Electra be expensive?”

Bong-Hitting Writer:   “Good point.  But wait, What about his brother?”

Piss-Drunk Writer:    “He has a brother?”

Bong-Hitting Writer:    “Sure, looks just like him too.  Bet you no one will even notice!”

Piss-Drunk Writer:     “This just keeps getting better, but I still think we need a hook.”

Bong-Hitting Writer:   “Wait, wait…”  (hits his bong)  “I’ve got it.”

Piss-Drunk Writer:    “Go ahead.”

Bong-Hitting Writer:   “A shark…with two heads.”

Piss-Drunk Writer:    “Brilliant!”