I’ve always got things going on in my head.  Sometimes it seems like the ideas are fighting for attention when all I want to do is work.  Sometimes, this is what happens at night…

Mean sits at his desk with a stack of papers and a nearly empty red pen.  Angry music screams from the speakers and a pint of home brewed Hefeweizen rests nearby.


TERRANCE

Hey man, how’s it going?

MEAN

Not bad, but I’m really on a roll right now.

TERRANCE

That’s a lot of red ink.

MEAN

They call it editing for a reason.

TERRANCE

Yeah, but it looks like you’re editing more of me than Alice.

MEAN

She has a lot more to say in this scene.  You’ll get plenty of face time, don’t worry.

TERRANCE

I hope so.

MEAN

So, I really need to keep going with this.

GWEN

Don’t forget about me.

MEAN

What?

GWEN

You know, me?  The one with a deadline next week?

MEAN

I didn’t forget, I’m just on a roll editing Terrance’s story.

ALICE

And mine.

MEAN

Yes, and yours.

GWEN

But they don’t have a deadline.

ALICE

Yeah, well you’re only three thousand words long.

GWEN

It’s not all about length.

MEAN

That’s enough, you two.

ISAAC

What ever happened to me?

MEAN

You got stuck.

ISAAC

That’s a shitty excuse.

MEAN

Sorry, man.  Look, I’m kinda in the middle of something.

GWEN

Hello?  Deadline?

MEAN

I know!

TERRANCE

Can we get back to editing?

MEAN

Thank you, voice of reason.

RODRIGUEZ

You haven’t finished me yet either.

MEAN

You’re a different story altogether.

RODRIGUEZ

But you’ve been thinking about me for years.

MEAN

Off and on, yes, but you’re almost done.  Novels take time.

PAULA

I think we went pretty quick, considering.

MEAN

What are you doing here?  You’re already published.

PAULA

But you still love me, right?

MEAN

Of course but…you know, I’m never going to get this finished if you guys don’t leave me be.

PAULA

But I need love!

MEAN

I know you do, I’m sorry.  Stripped is available from Post Mortem Press at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords.  I’ll also have copies on hand at Rock and Shock in Worcester, MA on Sunday October 14th.  I’ll be at the table with the very cool New England Horror Writers.

PAULA

Thanks, love.

MEAN

You’re welcome.  Can I write now?

TERRANCE

I thought you were editing?

MEAN

Oh come on

DIAMOND

Why not write about me some more?  Am I next?

MEAN

You need to keep quiet.  I’m nowhere near ready to talk about that.

GWEN

Uhh, deadline?

MEAN

You guys are pissing me off.

ALICE

That’s not red ink on–on me, is it?

MEAN

Editing!  It’s called Editing!

GUNNAR

What about that other stack of paper?  You know, the one with me in it?

MEAN

That’s it.


Mean stands up and grabs his pint.

MEAN (CONT.)

You guys like apples?

TERRANCE

What?

MEAN

(turns off power)

How do you like those apples?

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